Way Over Due Post.... Sorry Lovelies.... Catching Up....

Hi Lovelies,

Jessica here, I owe you all who are still checking this regularly, an apology.  Why - well once again- life got really busy for me and trying to find the balance between school and Love's Journey became hard and I had to put this beautiful dream and organization of mine on the back burner yet again and focus on my school work.  I dream of the day when I can spend hours just working on projects and papers for Love's Journey.  One thing I know is that the dream has not diminished in me in fact every time I see a newspaper, or hear a story on the news it sparks the fire in me to work harder to Human trafficking and Sex slavery end in my life time or at least put a dent in this battle.  I want to catch you all up on life with me and I'll let Yolanda and Leeann pop in when they have time- we are all sorry that we haven't been on lately.

I'm a senior at Purdue Calumet University studying Early Childhood Education- this semester I have 4 classes - Philosophy(Ethics for Professions), Sociology( Research Methods), Behavioral Human Studies(which sounds nice till I tell you this is my Stats class), and then my Math, Science, and Social studies Early Childhood Class.  This is my first full semester on the campus and I LOVE it... This is the perfect campus for me.  It has a big campus feel but is still small.  I think my biggest class this semester is 30 students with a professor and a T.A( teacher assistant).  This campus will still give me that prestigious Purdue University degree that I know a lot of people were worried about but honestly just getting a degree that says I've done it will be fantastic.   So in addition to school what else am I doing well...

I'm actively involved in Northview Church  in their Children's Ministry where we in our nursery where my Mom and I co- lead it split the room into 3 mini rooms. We have 0-18 months in one room and created a 2's room now where our infants use to be.  Our church doesn't have a permanent church home yet--- that's coming in a year!!!! We break ground this spring!!! I wrote about that in a blog awhile ago if you remember.  Anyway.... We needed space for our amazing 2 year olds who didnt have a place to belong and so my mom and I have been busy getting that room up and going as well as keeping the rest of nursery running.

We are also getting ready for our annual fundraising for Focus on the Family - the 30th year we have held our Garage Sale at our house.  We already have donations coming in and so we have been planning new ways to move items out before the sale in June.

With all that I'm trying to find time to sit back and enjoy my family I am an aunt to 4 amazing kids who are all having birthdays soon and so i'm trying to do the aunt thing and enjoy them and play with each of them while trying to find the time to sit down and write to you all....


I want to write give you guys something to chew on too while I'm here but I dont want this blog post to be pages and pages long.  So I guess I'll end by saying this: Go make a difference today in someones life in some way.



Love ya

Jessica 

Loss: Part One

This is a tough topic to talk about but- I'm going to talk about it.   I want to talk about loss... But excuse the chopped up manner of this post - I'm going to a camp to help children 6-16 deal with loss of a loved one. Nothing in my education career has prepared me to help children like this.... But I'm learning and that's all that matters.  So I think today I will post my fears about this upcoming weekend and Sunday or Monday I will post about the weekend and how it went.

Let me state this I'm not new to loss I've lost my grandpa, my grandpa, my aunt and uncle, I've watched various friends and family walk through loss... It's not easy but we all need to remember that grieving is normal and good.

My fears for the weekend:
- I wont have the words needed
- I wont know how to best help my assigned children
- I wont be able to relate to them
- that I myself will re-open the loss of my family members


But I also know that this camp could very well end out helping the children in our care as well as we as staff.

So please lovelies, keep the staff of Camp Angel in your prayers and pray that we find healing for our losses and provide help to the children who are receptive to wanting to express their loss.


Thanks,

Jessica

New School Year

Hi Lovelies,
Jessica here-  I'm sitting on the floor of my local community college- taking time to blog to y'all during my first week back to college after the summer semester.  Last night as I was packing away all my new binders all color coded and matching textbooks to binders for today, and packing lunch up - I was feeling the excitement for the new year. Today was a different story- Today I found myself with a roller coaster of emotions.  I was excited, yet scared, I was feeling tons of butterflies as I walked into my first class-which is ECON- I was nervous about re-taking it and questions filled my mind. What if I hate the professor, what if no one in class likes me, what if I hate this class again.  I had to stop and remind myself of my goals for this class and goals for the new school year.

So I figured I'd share some of my goals for this school year.
1- I want to focus more on the classes, break out of my shell and and ask questions.
2- I want to be present in class, not just there but really there - asking questions, answering questions
3- I want to focus my time and energy on doing my best work for each class..
4- I'm aiming for a B average in each of my 6 classes ( yes I said 6!!! was I crazy!!!!)

This school year I want to strive to make friends who will encourage me along the way, I strive to not be the same person 9 months from now that I am today.  I want to grow and learn and change....
This is the same attitude I took with my life.  I'm making a few changes in the way I do life.
- I'm making a point to be intentional with relationships
- I'm making a point to spend less time on social media
- I'm making a point to be more focused on school and doing my best
-I'm making a point to live a healthier lifestyle- more exercise, watching what I eat
-I'm making a point to break out of my shell and make a presence in my classes
and most important: I'm striving to grow closer to God and to make sure I have a solid foundation in Him as I grow...

New things and change can be scary but have no fear lovelies, cause with God nothing is too scary, I'm learning that change and new-ness can be exciting... so this year as your next new thing comes up whether it's school, a new job, or whatever else it is- just think of it as a new chapter in life.


Love you all.
Jessica

Change

Hi Lovelies,
It's been awhile again, :( I'm so sorry.  I'm still in college and life for me has been crazy. The staff here at Love's Journey have been going through some changes in our personal life's that have left us putting this journey at the bottom of our list. :( But I found some time while getting ready to study for finals to write about Change.  It's funny that I'm writing about change because i'm in the middle of a lots of changes myself.  Yolanda graduated Purdue University and is spending her summer working in South Africa!!!! I have gone through a few changes in my life but I will talk about mine and share what I've learned. Our other manager Leeann has had some exciting changes happening that i've had the blessing to share in but i'm going to let her stop in and update you all on them when she has time :)

Change happens just like seasons happen.  I just currently find am finding myself in a season of change.  For those of you who dont know Yolanda and I were living together while we both went to college.  She graduated :) and is moving to Texas this fall, while I finish up college.  So this past May one of my best friends graduated by June she was in South Africa and needless to say I was crying.  Crying because she was changing from the college student to a young business woman and I was yet again stuck as a college student.

 This past April my sister Kristin called my dad and said that they were moving back to town and needed a place to live.  So Dad told Kristin that she and her family could move into my house and I would move back in with my parents( after 5 years on your own living at home is a change).  Today while i'm writing this they are moving into my childhood home and while I'm still not completely happy about it- I'm using every moment with my parents to the best  I can.  A few years ago I kept saying I was going to move away after college - and with a year left of college I can officially say after years of praying as to where God would want me. I'm moving to Houston as soon as possible after graduation.  This is a big change for me as founder of this non-profit I wanted to make sure that I spent time in prayer making sure I was moving for all the right reasons. I'm excited to live in this city and start my ministry to young women and girls.

 I know that there is more change coming in this year as I prepare to move to Houston from my small town in Indiana.  I know that it will be stressful but I also know that I have to take the challenge and do it or I wont become who God's called me to be.  In order to get to Houston I have to finish up my degree in Behavioral Sciences and graduate, I have to fly down to Houston and find a place to live and a job, and while all this seems so stressful I'm not worrying because I'm taking it one step at a time and praying over every little thing.  I wasn't and often times still not a fan of change but as Rafiki points out " Change is good."

I often times find myself getting stressed out to the max about change and if things arent going how I planned well its almost like world war 3 broke out.  I'm find though that in these times is when if I slow down and breathe and say something like "God I feel like I'm loosing control - please take control of this and show me what I need to do" I calm down and the task or change doesn't look so bad.

When I started to write this Lion King popped into my head as a movie that deals with Pain and change.  The following quote from the movie stuck with me and I had to share it. Because you see I've had several situations lately where I've wanted to live in the past/ or allow the past to dictate who I am.  While to a point my past does that. I'm beginning to see that my past doesn't have to define who I am because God has already told me that I'm beautiful, I'm worthy, that I'm loved, that I'm chosen and accepted, that I'm.... Fill in the blank with your struggle and God says you are loved, chosen, beautiful, pure... I'm starting to understand how my past has shaped the woman I'm becoming and I'm seeing that my past while messy is something beautiful.  God gave me my story because it was the perfect story for me and like the quote above says " you can either run from(your past) or you can learn from it.  Let me tell you about my past and what I'm learning from it as a 24 year old woman.  Here is a shorten version of my story you can read all about me here: http://lovesjourney316.blogspot.com/2014/01/journey-into-jessicas-story-redemption.html

I was born December 26, 1989- shortly after I was born I was given up for adoption.  I had a normal up bringing in a Christian home.  When I was 16/17 I started to really take interest in boys.  At 17 because I thought I knew everything I gave up my virginity.  I have never seen the man I gave my virginity to.  I was 17 he was 21. I had a few brief one night stands mixed in with a relationship that wasn't healthy with my high school sweetheart.  We dated 8 times in 2 years.  Each time the relationship got more physical.  At 23 I thought I knew everything again and started dating a 49 year old.  That relationship was so toxic and harmful to me. I would try to leave and he would always tell me things would change or he would kill himself if I left because he'd have nothing to live for.  Needless to say my parents found out about that relationship and we went to court to get a protection order against him. It was finally over I was free from a relationship or so I thought.. All through this time from 17 on I was engaged with online chatrooms and finding myself in the tight chains of a porn addiction. Here I am trying to live a Christian life but stuck in a very nasty battle to regain my purity.  I still am weak with my battle but I'm learning that I can change myself with God's help.  See if you were to meet me - you wouldnt know my battle with porn, chatrooms, my battle with purity, you wouldn't suspect that I cut myself, you couldn't see the suicide attempts, the over the counter pill battle.  You wouldn't see any of that.  So to you girls and guys out there going no one understand me- I dont understand your sistuation- but I've been there.
 It gets better.  It's hard to make that change and I won't sit here and say it's easy because it's not-  I am daily waking up fighting the battle to look at porn, to find a guy on a chatroom, to take pills for fun, to cut, to fill in the blank... I'm human and I make mistakes by I am learning from my falls and I'm standing up and learning not to make them again.  I'm weak - very weak... But the blessing of walking with Christ as my center is that He directs my paths and He gives me strength when I don't want to face the day, when laying in bed and doing whatever is easier.  Everyday I battle my past,I fight hard to win back a lifestyle of purity. It's hard.--I want to stop here for a second and say this- Girls --hold on to your virginity- it's not worth loosing until your married.  I never believed that ever. I was 17 when I gave it away. Think of it like this - every guy you sleep with- every single one of them has a piece of you.  So when you get married and you commit yourself to your husband you are giving him whats left of your heart instead of your whole heart.  I know it sounds like fun to be doing what everyone else is doing but girls please stop buying into that lie--- it's the oldest lie in the book- NOT EVERYONE IS DOING IT.

 I wish so desperately that loosing my virginity wasn't part of my story- I don't regret it because it's made me a stronger woman but I wish that I didn't have to have that talk with my future husband.  I'm dreading it- It won't be fun to sit down and say while we werent together I slept with this many people and I'm sorry that I gave a bit of my heart to them all.  I especially want  to talk to girls who are where I am- girls who have lost their virginity and feel ashamed, dirty.  Girls I get that because let me tell you this about me.  June 6th, 2007 I lost my virginity to a 21 yr old I met online.  Girls I left for church camp June 10th.  The absolute last place I wanted to be.  My high school youth leaders were at my house the day I left for camp and when it was time to leave I hugged my youth leaders wife and walked towards the car. Her husband who was my fave person at the time said "Jess what about me?" I went to hug him because I knew I had to keep a normal mask on.  But underneath my mask my brain was screaming get off me and don't touch me.
You see giving my heart away had changed me. It made me scared of men, it made me feel like everyone who touched me wanted me in a sexual way.  I went to camp and came back and never said a word about my lost of virginity for a year and a half.  I went to talk to my college campus pastors wife - Lea and on a fall day in October I spilled my heart out about everything.  The whole thing. I could tell Lea what I was wearing, where we did it and how it affected everything after that.  I called my youth leaders wife - Dawn and confessed to her only to hear her say Jess - David and I knew we were just waiting on you to tell us." I felt like a weight had been lifted except one thing was wrong - I couldnt leave my shame, my dislike of myself, my dirtiness where it needed to be.  I kept picking it up and letting that one action define me.  I was scared to say I'm Jessica and I'm not a virgin but I want to live a pure life until I get married.  My heart cried out to live a pure life- but I wasnt raised in a family where I felt like I could tell my parents - so I reached out to others I trusted. It wasnt until last year - I finally understood that no matter what my sexual past - I could still vow to wait till I was married to have sex.  So girls - it's ok if you don't have your virginity. I dont and while I'm against giving it to who ever ask... I understand the battle and emotions your feeling.  I still have moments where I feel shame and feel dirty.  I stop and remind myself that God has given me that second chance to wait till I'm married.

So here I am to say at 24 years old I- Jessica - I'm pledging to wait until I'm married to have sex and I'm vowing to live a life of purity.

 One last thing before I go back to talking about change- if you feel like you need a safe place to talk about your virginity or your past email us at lovesjourney316@gmail.com or message us at on our facebook page.

OK back to change- I want to talk about this picture you see under this line.  It states" don't let your past dictate who you are but let it be a part of who you will become.  This isn't easy - trust me- I'm trying to let my past become part of my story because well that's what my past is- it's my story.  It's a beautiful mess and while I'm not proud of some of my choices I'm proud of my story.

 At some point - you will hit rock bottom and then it will be you and God alone.  It will be easy to say God i'm done I cant do it your way- and you can walk away or you can chose to believe that your past is part of your story - the story that God is writing and you can pray like I did at 17 that one person would hear your story and not make the same choice you did but there is so power in those words- so if you say that be ready for God to start healing you and making your story worth something. I cant tell you how many times from 17 to 24 I said God use my story- if just one person learns from my mistakes then my story will be worth it. If it reaches one person and they change their life because of it then all my mistakes were worth it. Girls- I'm 24 and I'm working on opening a non-profit aimed at reaching you all and ministering and sharing my story.  I'm not proud of the choices but I'm proud of my story and proud of the voice God has given me because I asked Him to use my failures for His glory.  Girls powerful things happen when you begin to do as the picture on the right says. " your past is just a story and once you realize this it has no power over you." I always wondered why my ex boyfriend had such power over me- and it was because I was allowing him to have that power over me.  I was saying it's ok to play with my emotions.  When I took that step and said with God and said my past is that the past - I cant change what happened I can only learn from it and I refuse to let my past have power over me anymore.  Can I tell you what happen-- I began to regain control of my life.  Girls- It's a beautiful thing when God begins to heal your heart.  While I know I will still struggle, I will have days when my past rears its ugly head I will have moments when I want to quit - I also have the strength given to me by God

I challenge you all to let go and let God heal your heart and set you on the right path.
Love you girls
Jess.

Love's Journey is 1!!! Happy Birthday!!!!

Hello Lovelies,

It finally happened it’s our birthday!!! Happy one year to us!  

I’m so blessed to be running an organization that really has blessed me and countless others ( that I don’t even know about).  As I sit her and think about how a year ago- I was sitting on my couch in my living room with only a name, trying to come up with every reason in the book to God as to why I wasn't capable to do what he was asking – God just kept saying trust in me and follow my lead. I did and here we are a year later!!! I think about all that the staff has dealt with in a year and I think being able to blog about it to you all made it easier.  J There’s been sadness, depression, loneliness, heartbreak but through all the downs there has been major ups- there’s been love, and joy, and friendships formed but through it all we have been strengthened because we had to trust God and his plan for our life.  So today this blog is to say Happy Birthday to us, and also to share where I hope and dream we will be in another year! 

So here’s my dreams for Love’s Journey in the next year:

©       I want to see us reach more girls and young women

©       I want to have video blogs sometimes

©       That God continues to direct our path

Goals:

©       That we would start to fundraise

©       Start a building fund with the money raised

©       I want to take the steps to find out all about what I have to do to make us a non-profit

©       I want to share Love’s Journey with lots of people and bring more people on board

I’m so blessed to serve on Love’s Journey  and I think since It’s been a year I’ll share what our mission and vision is here and if you want to know more about it you can go read some of our starting blogs. 

Our mission is “ Love’s Journey exist to simply love on girls and young women and girls and young women who are in human trafficking./modern day slavery who are having a rough time in their lives and need someone to remind them that they are loved, accepted, and known by the maker of the

universe no matter what they have done or will do. “ 

Our vision statement is simply to love on girls and young women we encounter in our daily lives.

I want to end with a passage from the Bible “1 Corinthians 13

The Message (MSG)

The Way of Love

13 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

² If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

^3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,

I want to say that this chapter really is the heart beat of Love’s Journey and I pray it will be for a long time. 

If you could lovelies please keep our own staff member Yolanda in your prayers – she’s spending the summer working for a company in South Africa and then when they  get back she’s moving to Texas- I know she would love your prayers.

Love,

Jessica 

Where do you go ---

Where do you go where do you turn

When the whole world is falling down around you?

What do you say to make it all better?

In the end will it even matter?

My heart is already crushed

My bones broken

How I’m existing is beyond me

Where do you go when everything is falling down around you

Where do you turn when you need a shoulder to cry on

And the shoulder is gone

Where do you turn when you cant stand to look at yourself

When running thousand miles away feels like the only answer

Where do I run to?

All I want is safety, someone to tell me it’s ok

To be able to breathe and not feel like I have a weight on my chest

All I want is my best friends back – my rocks my foundation

Where do you run to when it’s all too much?

For me I’m turning to God and praying He has

The answers I don’t

Because running isn't an option

 For me right now running isn't the option I have to run straight into God's arms- where I haven't always been.  I always seem to find myself running from my problems instead of facing them head on.  So I wrote the poem above because I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I was to the point where I didn't know where to turn or what to believe in - so now I begin the process of running back to God where He loves and cares for me and I begin to find my strength in Him and His words and in the Bible.. We all slip and fall and we all have times where our faith runs dry but it's in these moments when you need to turn back to God and fall in love with Him... I'm off to read a book and dig into who God says I am.  Love you all and so so sorry about the long time with no post.  Life has happened to the staff of Love's Journey and well we all needed to take a break... I will be updating more now that I'm on summer break- I plan to dive into the book I'm reading and blog about that.  :) so keep reading  and know that we at Love's Journey love ya'll

Jessica 

Belief, Trust, and Perfectly Loved by HIM

 Lovelies,
Sorry you haven't heard from us lately... We've been busy with school and life, But we are back and ready for action :) We have some new things in the works for Love's Journey and we are all excited to announce them.  For the latest know check out our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/lovesjourney316 or check out our website at http://lovesjourney316.weebly.com/ - both will have updates about our new and exciting ventures :)... Now that the business stuff is out of the way on to the blog.  

Lately I have been struggling to believe in God and believe that God is who He says he is, which leads into not fully trusting him, and then the top of the list not believing that i'm perfectly loved by HIM.  I often times find that one of the reasons I blog for Love's Journey is that it helps me to see my struggle in the light of God's word and I begin to see and understand Him on a better level.  

 I want to talk about belief first.  Belief in three ways- first- belief in our self and second- Belief in God and thirdly- Believing that God is who He says He is.  

But first let's look at what belief really means.  Belief is

1. 1.

   an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.

   
   
2. 2.trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something.

So belief is an acceptance that a statement is true or exists or is it a trust, faith or confidence ins someone or something, or is belief a combination of both is it an acceptance that a statement is true or something exist AND a trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something.  

I personally think that it's a combination of the two.  So that being said let's look at the belief in yourself. Believing in yourself is so important.  This is something that I don't fully believe about myself.  I struggle to believe in myself.   I often times struggle to see that if I believe in myself and what I'm about that the self- confidence I would have would make me unstoppable.  I have found that as I struggle with my own human-ness in regards to walking with God daily, I struggle to see that I'm enough, that I can do all that God has planned for my life, I struggle to see that I'm beautiful.  Please believe me when I say that you are loved, accepted, and beautiful, and God has crazy love for you.  You need to believe in yourself and secondly you need to believe in God.  Let's look deeper at what it means to believe God.  I personally believe that believing God is two fold. By that I mean I have to believe that God exist and believe in God.  

What does believing God mean- it means that you Believe that God sent Jesus to save you from your past, future and you believe that God can and will use your story in a mighty mighty way.  
When I look back at my story I see time and time again how God has redeemed me and is just now beginning to use my story.  I remember when I was 17 and feeling very far from God but with one single mistake ( which would lead to more) I hit a rock bottom at that time - I turned to God and remember one of my most honest prayers to God which was simply "God if just one person learns something from my story then this mistake will be worth it" I'm 24 and I'm just now seeing how God plans to use my story.  I never pictured when I prayed that God would call me to run Love's Journey and to simply love on women and young girls who need someone to believe in them.  I think back to the women in my life who have loved on me and still do and i'm blessed beyond belief.   When you feel worthless, unloved, unwanted, stupid or whatever that's when you need to believe what God and the bible say about us- we are loved, worthy, wanted, bright and smart - Girls I'll let you in on a secret "GOD CHOSE YOU"  think about that we were chosen by the creator of the universe.  look at this picture and let it sink in deep

I'm still navigating this journey with God but everyday I have to chose to believe in God and believe that He is who he says He is.  I know this without a doubt that NO matter what I do God will ALWAYS love me.


Jessica